Strengthening your child’s basic trust – 20 valuable tips

A lifelong foundation for self-confidence and relationships

The magical journey of basic trust begins in the very first months of a baby’s life. This deep-rooted certainty that the world is safe and reliable unfolds like an invisible bond that lays the foundation for the child’s future self-confidence and relationships. Psychologists and brain researchers repeatedly emphasize the important role of an intimate relationship with parents during this formative phase. A strong basic trust becomes a key that makes it easier for children to trust themselves and other people. In this article, we take readers on a journey of discovery into how parents can strengthen their child’s basic trust right from the start.

10 valuable tips on how you can strengthen and build your child’s basic trust right from the start:

1. Telling your child that you are proud of them: Every praise and every positive reinforcement not only promotes healthy self-esteem, but also contributes to the development of strong basic trust.
2. Listening to the child and answering questions: communication is the key to connection. Attentive listening and empathetic answers strengthen the bond between parent and child.
3. Take the child seriously: Respecting the child’s feelings and needs creates trust and promotes a positive self-perception.
4. Provide care: Care and love are not only basic needs, but also essential building blocks for a deep basic trust.
5. Cuddling and security: touch and closeness create a safe environment in which the baby/child feels loved and secure.
6. Joint activities: Spending time with your child, whether playing, doing crafts or doing things together, deepens the bond and strengthens basic trust.
7. Clear structures and rituals: Predictability gives the child security and creates trust in everyday routines.
8. Set boundaries: Clear rules convey security and orientation, which in turn promotes basic trust.
9. Promote independence: A sense of achievement in independent activities strengthens the child’s self-confidence in the long term.
10. Patience and understanding: Every baby/child develops at its own pace. With patience and understanding, parents can support individual growth.

When does basic trust arise?

Basic trust begins its delicate development in the first months of life, when the baby experiences a loving and safe environment. The foundation of this trust is laid through repeated positive interactions and the empathetic fulfillment of basic needs. It is a process that is characterized by the loving gestures of the parents and their continuous availability.

How can basic trust be disturbed?

The disruption of basic trust can be caused by neglect, insecure attachments to caregivers or traumatic experiences. Neglect can lead to the child developing doubts about his or her own worth, which shakes the basis of basic trust. Insecure attachments, for example due to inconsistent behavior on the part of caregivers, can also influence basic trust.

In addition, basic trust can be impaired if parents deliberately choose to let the baby cry alone, for example during night-time “sleep training”. Abuse on the part of caregivers can also have a negative impact on basic trust.

How does a lack of basic trust manifest itself?

A lack of basic trust often manifests itself in fears, insecurities and difficult relationships with peers. In later life, it often manifests itself in low self-esteem and difficulties in self-regulation. Children who do not develop strong basic trust may tend to struggle to build confidence and find emotional security in unsafe environments.

How can I strengthen the bond with my baby? 10 simple tips:

1. Audition: The gentle melody of the parental voice calms and strengthens the emotional bond. Singing soothing melodies not only creates an emotional connection, but also promotes the baby’s auditory perception.
2. Speak: By sharing thoughts and feelings, parents can support their baby’s language development. Babies not only hear their parents’ voices, but also perceive the structure of spoken language, which can have a positive influence on language development.
3. Cuddling: Physical contact is crucial for emotional bonding. Regular cuddling not only promotes the release of bonding hormones such as oxytocin, but also gives the baby a feeling of closeness and security.
4. Mindful observation: By carefully observing their baby’s signals and needs, parents can react more quickly to their baby’s needs. This creates a reliable environment and strengthens the parental bond.
5. Introduce rituals: Introducing rituals, such as an evening bedtime ritual, creates predictability for the baby. Regular routines make the baby feel safe and secure.
6. Smile and make eye contact: A simple smile and intense eye contact can create strong emotional connections. The baby feels seen and loved, which strengthens trust.
7. Carrying the baby in a sling: Babies, especially newborns, feel safe and secure in a baby carrier or sling very close to mom or dad. Wearing them conveys warmth, closeness and love.
8. Bathing together: Bath time together can not only be a relaxing activity, but also strengthens the physical bond between parents and baby. The gentle touch in the water creates trust.
9. Small games: Games such as “peek-a-boo” or grabbing small toys not only promote cognitive development, but also strengthen bonding by having fun together.
10. Breathing exercises: Breathing exercises together, for example when falling asleep, can create a calm and soothing atmosphere. This not only helps the baby to relax, but also strengthens the parental bond.

👶PSSS: Click here on *cocoo-me®Helium baby carrier* and you will be taken to our elastic wrap conversion carrier.

Does a problematic birth prevent basic trust?

A problematic birth can affect basic trust, but this does not necessarily mean a loss of this precious trust. Difficulties such as a caesarean section or the use of suction bells can make bonding more difficult, but a loving, supportive environment can still foster a strong primal trust. It’s crucial that parents are aware that the beginning of life doesn’t always go to plan, and that they give themselves and their baby time to bond.

Always accept help in the event of problematic attachment

In moments when attachment issues arise, it is crucial to accept help. Postpartum depression or your own insecurities from childhood can impair bonding. The early intervention centers and pediatricians are available as first points of contact to offer support. Parents should not be afraid to seek professional help to strengthen the bond and ensure the child’s healthy development.

How do insecure child-parent relationships manifest themselves?

Science differentiates between secure-attached, insecure-avoidant and insecure-ambivalent children. These categories describe the different behaviors that children develop in relation to their parents.

1. Securely-attached children: These children show a healthy level of trust and feel safe around their parents. They explore their surroundings curiously and seek the protection of their parents if they are unsure.
2. Insecure-avoidant children: Children with an insecure-avoidant attachment tend to keep their distance from their parents. They show little emotional reaction when their parents return and often appear disinterested.
3. Insecure-ambivalent children: These children have difficulty detaching themselves from their parents and often display contradictory behavior. They can both seek closeness and distance themselves, which leads to insecurities in the parental relationship.

These different attachment patterns can develop over the course of childhood and have an impact on the child’s later relationships.

Conclusion:

Basic trust, this precious gift of early childhood, forms the basis for healthy relationships and strong self-confidence in later life. Parents are the architects of this house of trust. By creating a loving, supportive environment and responding sensitively to their child’s needs, they lay the foundations for a secure bond and promote the development of strong basic trust. In moments of challenge, it is crucial to accept help in good time to ensure a stable basis for the child’s emotional well-being. The journey of basic trust is not only a gift to the child, but also a treasure for life.

Book tips on the topic:

“Soulfulness. High Sensitivity”
Markus Walz, available as an e-book & paperback.

“Strengthening children with love”
Barbara Weber-Eisenmann, available as an e-book & paperback.

Text: Elke Grössler, cocoo-me® online editorial team